Yes, I'm back to fb. But this time, as I said, I'm back for Him.
Quite some time ago (wow, now i count it back, it was half a year ago) I decided to quit FB. why? because I think it stole too much time from me, and I couldn't stop myself from checking how many people like my status/photos/posts. I was living under how people think about me. And I'd like to use email/hand writing cards or letters to have better communications with friends. I'm glad that I actually made it, and to be honest, without struggling; because I knew i had to.
Even when I got here, some friends asked me if I'd consider to re-activate my fb account so that it'd be easier for us to stay in touch. I was not sure I can't get over what I was afraid of and it was not my intention to come all the way here just to have more time talking about my life here.
Then... what has changed my mind? First of all, this is for one of my upcoming service here starting from next Tuesday. It's called "Tisdagskul" (Eng: Tuesday Fun). It's one Livets Ord's ministries here in Gottsunda (a region in Uppsala), mainly is to have fun with a bunch of teen-girls on every Tuesday. So far what I can think of is to do nail polish with them, not sure if they'd like it though. Besides, my tools are not here with me yet. and as you could've imagine, fb would be the best and fastest way to get closer to them. So... here I am.
Also, the other day one of our teachers Swante talked about his life experience when he was a teen. He tried to perform himself by playing guitar, later he found that what people saw or look upon was only his guitar but not him. He knew he had to lay it down, even though he liked playing guitar a lot, and so he did in order to find the true self that God has put in him. And after a long time, he again was asked to play guitar for a worship team. I like what he said: "Sometimes the old things may come back, but they'll come back pruned." And at the Tisdagskul group meeting yesterday, we talked about sacrificing for God's work, I guess here what I need to sacrifice is my fear and some of my time. But this time the difference is....I come back with Jesus, and he'll show me how to use it more wisely.
The other difference I noticed right away is that. I used to put my attention only on myself (like what I want to say, what my friends say about me...etc.) but, I feel more eager to know about you, my friends, through your sharing on fb. My eyes fall on what Jesus' looking at, and that's you. (it might sound a bit crazy, but... as Simon said, there's no so-called "too" Christ-centric, because it is our goal to be Christ-centric! =)
Jesus rocks!
嗨, 朋友們, 是的...我要和你們重新在臉書上相遇了。而且...這次是神祂帶我上臉書的! 唷呼~
約莫半年前(不算還沒發現已經過這麼久了說..)我因為一些個人因素停用臉書。著實因為它佔據我太多時間, 再加上我無法控制自己不去注意有多少人在我的狀態、照片或文章上按了讃。別人怎麼看我, 我就怎麼想我自己。而且我覺得我比較想用花多點功夫的email或可能甚至是手寫的卡片或信來跟朋友做比較有品質的聯繫, 臉書對我來說有點太快太難消化。回想起來, 其實滿感謝神的, 因為當時做這個決定的時候, 幾乎是立刻馬上執行沒有任何猶豫或掙扎, 因為我知道我需要這麼做。
其實當我要出門前, 大家還會問我說要不要重新使用fb或是新認識的朋友會說, 有沒有用fb啊? 我都還是會堅持不用(反正我這人很愛走跟大家不一樣的路, 自以為這樣很酷→這可能也有需要要來被橋橋咧 XD)。一來是因為我不確定自己是否可以確定不掉回之前那樣的使用方式, 另外則是覺得當然我想跟朋友保持聯繫、但是這不是我大老遠跑來瑞典的主因呀。
那...又是什麼改變了我的心意呢? 嗯..首先是跟我參加教會的一個服事有關, 這個服事的名稱叫做"Tisdagskul" (瑞典文: 踢斯大個死ㄍㄩˋ噁, 嗯...雖然這個發音看起來很不親民, 但翻成英文是Tuesday Fun的意思來著)。這個服事的對象主要是在Uppsala這裡一個叫做Gottsunda區的青少女(大概是10-16歲)。這個地區很特別, 是在Uppsala這裡的移民區(我猜大概像中永和那裡的緬甸街或泰國街吧, 只是範圍擴大到一整個區), 所以她們大部份都是回教家庭背景的孩子。那就如同服事的名稱, 這個服事最重要的就是要跟她們認識跟have fun =) 而可想而之最快可以跟青少年們打成一片或滲入他們生活最好的方式就是...透過fb。所以啦, 我蹬唻啊。
喔, 還有啊, 我們有個老師前幾天上課講到自己年輕的時候, 想透過帥氣地彈吉他來表現自己, 而他也得到他所期待的大家的注意, 但很可惜...只在他的"吉他"上。所以後來當他發現這點的時候, 雖然他其實還是很喜歡彈吉他, 但他決定放下吉他去尋找神所放在他裡面那個真正的自己。而後來他被問到是否可以在敬拜的時候幫忙彈吉他伴奏, 這時候他說了一句話我非常喜歡: 「有些時候過去你為神所放下的東西會回來, 但會是以一個被修整過後的樣貌回來的。」昨天我們在這個服事小組開會的時候也談到了為了主的工作, 我們是需要犧牲的, 我想我必須要放下我對於無法好好使用fb的恐懼另外再加上些時間。但這次的不同之處在於.... 我是跟著耶穌一起回到fb的, 而且他會教我如何好好運用它的。
另外一個我自己注意的是, 過去我的焦點往往都在自己身上("我"想說什麼, 我的好友們說了什麼與"我"有關的...blah blah blah), 但現在我覺得自己更在乎的是"你/妳"和"你/妳"的分享, 我的捧由們。我的目光是隨著耶穌看哪我就看哪的, 而我知道他全神貫注看著的是"你/妳"。(好像是有點誇張齁。老師說, 沒有所謂的"太"基督化或"太"以基督為中心, 因為以基督為中心是我們的終極目標 =D)
好啦, 就這樣。另外, 我有很想你們❤。(講太多有點不太值錢齁...但是...只講一遍又覺得不太夠...啊~難為啊, 難為!)
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